Are you Filthy Rich?

Subject: Re: Are you Filthy Rich?
To: Lelia Blevins

Hi Lelia,

I'm not sure exactly what you're asking, so let me cover a couple of possibilities to avoid misunderstanding:

a) It's probably true that I don't change my bed sheets quite as often as I could, but I don't sweat much, there are generally few other nocturnal leakages, and when there are, these are swiftly dealt with. I shower regularly - with soap! - brush my teeth twice a day and take great pride in the thoroughness of my post-toilet wiping. I'm fortunate enough to have an office-based job, and if I have to perform any manual tasks such as changing the oil on a car, digging shallow graves in remote moorland or shovelling shit, I take the precaution of wearing protective clothing.

b) I like sex, sure, but it never seems to last long enough for me to do anything other than a few fairly straightforward manoeuvres. I once saw a photo of a lady tied up with ropes, but I didn't like it.

Does that help?
Cheers,
Rich

She wants a better sex? All you need's here!

To: Reginald
Subject: Re: She wants a better sex? All you need's here!

Dear Reginald,

She, as I’m sure you are aware by your correct use of the appropriate pronoun, is currently female. I’m not sure what methods you are using to judge which sex is better than which - and in this day and age I’d have hoped that you wouldn’t think in terms of either of them being ‘better’ - different, sure, but not ‘better’ - but I’ve just spoken to her and she’s pretty happy as she is, it seems. And let me assure you that if she did harbour thoughts of a sex change, she’s unlikely to want to me to perform the operation, and certainly not with tools purchased via email.

Yours,
Simon