Wednesday, 25 March 2009

It is not necessary to be ashamed of yourself

Subject: Re: It is not necessary to be ashamed of yourself
To: Rosendo Tucker


You wouldn't say that if you saw what I did this morning.


Monday, 23 March 2009

Ladies Stand Out in a Crowd

Subject: Re: Ladies Stand Out in a Crowd
To: Lacey Hand


This isn't always true. What if it's a crowd of ladies? What if the ladies are small and somewhere near the back? What if they're dressed in camouflage? What then, Lacey? What then?


Thursday, 19 March 2009

How much does it cost to eat in Florida?

Subject: Re: How much does it cost to eat in Florida?
To: Rex Pollard

Dear Rex,

Thank you for your enquiry. I'm pleased to tell you that eating in Florida is absolutely FREE, and there is at present no state-wide charge for the fundamental human activity of chewing and swallowing edible foodstuffs, or indeed any plan to introduce one. Food itself, however, is generally not free. Prices vary depending on the type, quality and quantity of food you wish to acquire, in addition to more subtle factors such as the location of the vendor - as a guide, you could pay anything from as little as 5 cents up to hundreds of dollars. Rest assured though, once you have successfully obtained some food, you will not have to pay again in order to eat it.

For the record, this is also true of the neighbouring states, Georgia and Alabama. As for states further afield, I couldn't say for sure, but on a personal note, I'd be surprised if their laws were any different.

I hope this sets your mind at rest.

Best wishes,